One fact about me is that I'm a Homeschooler. Homeschoolers are species that live on Planet Earth. They are descendants of the Geeks species who are traced back to the Homo sapiens who are the only living species in the homo genus of bipedal primates in Hominidae, the great ape family. So as you see it all boils down to monkeys. Homeschoolers are mostly eaters, breathers, sleepers, bathroomers, and learners. EVERYONE is a Homeschooler by birth only most people convert to Prisionschoolers when they are old enough to be dumb.
Advantages of being a Homeschooler:
- You get to grin at the yellow bus as it rolls past your window carrying hostages, er, students, to prison....school, that is.
- You get to go back to sleep after the yellow bus rolls by.
- And when you finally decide to wake up, you get to wear your P.J.s to "school".
- The Teacher-Pupil ratio is great.
- You can always take vacations in the name of "extended field trips".
- Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.(you sometimes get to toss the coin)
- "Cheating" is called "learning from each other" and its most certainly not forbidden.
- You get to spell "cookies" with a "k".
- You never lose in scrabble because you can always make up a word.
- You get to watch your mom talk to herself in the "Parent-Teacher Conference".
- It doesn't matter if you can't find matching socks first thing in the morning. Who cares?
Disadvantages of being a Homeschooler:
- You have to rehearse answers to the question "So why aren't you in school?"
- It is confusing whether you do have "homework" or not.
- you have to remember to use smaller words to communicate with "normal" kids.
- Your mother can give you house chores in the name of "Home Ec. projects" ( Most difficult tests include toilets).
- Your parents can make you do extra studying by claiming that the "normal" kids are doing it too and you have no way to prove this wrong.
And for all of those wondering how Homeschooling works, here it is simplified for your convenience:
We visit the library each semester and pick books at random (the Color Rule states that no matter what books you choose at least one of them must be blue.) Those books then become the curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied Alternative Physics, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Tomato Growing, and the Universal Dictionary and Thesaurus.
Now don't get me wrong, I know that "going to school" is such a fantastic thing, but you see I have no choice because my parents make me Home school. In my heart of hearts, I really *want* to spend 6 hours a day in a stuffy classroom filled with stupid people, listening to a rude and irrational teacher rant incessantly.
Well here is something I got by e-mail today which is pretty much homeschooling in a nutshell:
How does a homeschooler change a lightbulb?
First, mom checks three books on electricity out of the library, then the kids make models of light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison and do a skit based on his life.
Next, everyone studies the history of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles.
Next, everyone takes a trip to the store where they compare types of light bulbs as well as prices and figure out how much change they'll get if they buy two bulbs for $1.99 and pay with a five dollar bill.
On the way home, a discussion develops over the history of money and also Abraham Lincoln, as his picture is on the five dollar bill.
Finally, after building a homemade ladder out of branches dragged from the woods, the light bulb is installed.
And there is light.(And By that time you had probably already figured out how to live without light.)
And now I hope I had properly introduced to you the Homeschoolers specie, but seriously, in the end, it all really boils down to monkeys.
More: http://www.hsengine.com/s_scrabble+cheat.html
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