Indian and Pakistani Jokes
Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Banta doesn’t
turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Banta replies: I’m coming daily since 4
days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5
days ago, he hasn’t come back yet!
Santa: Why don’t you cook something else?
Banta’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is
crying furiously...
Finally, Banta consoles him saying “Don’t worry buddy, I
will marry again”.
Santa keeps the door open while bathing.
Banta asking him why is he doing that?
Santa says “I’m afraid that someone might watch me from the
key hole”.
Banta apni pregnant wife ko pizza hut le jaa raha tha.
Santa: Oye, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital ki
jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai?
Banta: Kyun key pizza hut mein “Delivery Free” hai.
Banta enters shop shouts, “Where is my free gift with this
oil?”
Shopkeeper: Iske saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab?
Banta: Oye ispe likha to hai “CHOLESTROL FREE”.
One tourist from U.S.A. asks Santa: Any great man
born in this village?
Santa: No sir, only small Babies!!!
Teacher: A for?
Banta: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Banta: Jay mata di.
American says: “ US mein shaadi e-mail se hoti
hai..”
Santa says: “ India
me to.. shaadi sirf fe-mail (female) se hoti hai...!!!”
Banta orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir should I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Banta: 4 hi kar dena, 8 khaye nahi jayenge.
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who are you?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya chala gaya .
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta
hai
jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a person asked what he was doing?
He replied, Oye! Higher studies yaar.
2 pathans were fighting after exam.
Sir: Why are you fighting?
1st pathan: This fool left the answer sheet blank.
Sir: So what?
2nd pathan: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will
think that we both copied.
Santa: I’m very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone saved 1/2
money.
Banta: You are nothing I saved all my money.
Santa: How?
Banta: My friend was going and I sent my wife with him.
Santa goes to Kaun Banega Karodpati show. Amitabh Bachchan
asks him, “Santaji aap kiske saath yahan aaye hai?”
Santa: Pitaaji ke saath.
Amitabh: Aap ke pitaaji ka shubhnaam?
Santa: Hmmmm.... yes.
Amitabh: Ammmm.... kya naam hai aapke pitaji ka?
Santa: Hmmmm... OK.
Amitabh: Are Santaji, main aapse aapke pitaji ka naam poochh
raha hoon.
Santa: Pehle mujhe 4 options to do!!!
Banta: All of the thrill is gone from my marriage.
Santa: Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an
affair?
Banta: But what if my wife finds out?
Santa: Heck, this is a new age we live in. Go ahead and just
tell her about it.
Banta goes home to his wife and says, “Preeto, I think an
affair will help bring us closer together”.
Preeto, “Forget it, I’ve already tried that. It didn’t
work.”
The headmaster of a school reprimanded Banta. ‘It has been
reported that you called your history teacher gadhaa (Ass). You are fined
Rs.50.’
‘Sir, would I be fined if I called a gadhaa my guruji?’ asks
Banta.
‘Surely not’, replied the headmaster.
Banta: ‘That’s fine, Guruji!’.
A Manager of the branch bank found he had no space left to
store old records.
He wrote to his regional manager Banta to for permission to
destroy old records.
Banta Singh replied back: “I do not mind your destroying old
records but please make sure you keep photo-copies of all the destroyed
papers”.
Santa and Banta decide to go on picnic one day. When they
get there, they realize they’ve forgotten the whisky.
Banta says he’ll get it if Santa promises not to eat the
chicken till he returns.
Now, Santa waits and waits till a whole day goes by, when
Santa says to himself: Come on, I’m hungry. He is not going to come back so let
me eat the chicken anyway.
Suddenly Banta pops up from behind a tree and says: If you
do that, I won’t go!
Banta showed his palm to a palmist. He examined the lines on
Banta’s hand & said, A beautiful girl will come into your life, but be very
careful.
Why should I have to be careful? asked Banta. She should be
careful of her life. I drive a Blueline bus!
Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty
girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it
cost?”
“Only one kiss per meter madam,” replied Banta (clerk).
“That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take five meters.”
“Five meters only?”, asked Banta “Hmmmmm..”, girl thinks for
a moment and said, “OK, give me ten meters”.
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face,
Banta hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.
The girl snapped up the package
and pointed to a little old man standing beside her and said “Grandpa will pay
the bill”.
More: http://www.hsengine.com/s?w=Sent+by+Santa
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