Well I'm glad to say life should return to normal again as the pub re-opens at 7 pm tomorrow night.
I had actually planned to have a day off work tomorrow to continue sorting out my garden but obviously I have to prioritise and go out and earn some beer money instead. While it will be nice to see it back in business I probably wont be going as much as I did in the past. Quite simply I've started getting used to not going out and where, in the past, I'd find it very frustrating to stay in it's almost become the norm. It's funny how the actions of others can change habits almost overnight.
I'm pleased to say the problems that I spoke of the other night seem to be resolving themselves. My eldest son, who at one stage was heartbroken, now seems to appreciate that some things are either not meant to be or just can't be and people have to move on. In a way he is luckier than most in his position, in that, he sees his son as his main purpose in life and as he's always been his primary carer should, with the right legal advice, get custody.
While I'll try and guide him as best I can I do find it's been rather complicated by the fact his mother (the mother of my two eldest sons) got in touch with them a couple of years ago. She hadn't seen them for about 25 years and while I'm pleased for both her and them it's like a bit of the past appearing to haunt me. Many people, in the media, will speak of an emotional empty space where they have been raised by only one parent and yearn for the absent parent to fill that void. In the case of the younger son he's experienced no such void and doesn't show much enthusiasm to forge a relationship. With the older son, while I had no knowledge of it, he claims he always felt a part of him was missing and is almost too enthusiastic and now keeps in regular touch.
Neither stance bothers me as it doesn't change the relationship I have with them but it does impinge to an extent when I'm trying to give the older son advice on the legal avenues he should pursue.
As I was raising them I never said a bad word about their mother or discussed our divorce in any detail all they basically knew was that I had divorced her and was granted custody of them. Had they asked I would have happily told them the details. For me the main reason for going for custody was not that I thought she was a lesser parent or less capable than I; my only problem, at the time, was her boyfriend had left a lovely wife and two beautiful children and wanted nothing to do with his own children. So why, I thought, should he care for mine? It later transpired that his marriage had been a violent one according to his ex-wife.
Initially I even offered that if they could come back to me in 6 months and prove that they had suitable accomodation for the children I would reconsider. That came to nothing and, as my son now has to, I had to read up on a legal system that rarely gives custody to the father. It took over two years (during which time they lived with me) but eventually I won the case and a couple of years later when she ceased using her access I moved and we got on with our lives.
The problem now is that I know exactly the legal advice and direction I want to give my son but as that is based on the two divorces and custody cases I fought and won and he is in close contact with his mother now, I don't want to spoil anything. To me he has an excellent case, it's just got to be put together properly and he's got to learn to instruct solicitors rather than listen to them. But I can't really say "I used these means when I beat your mother in court".
No doubt everything will get sorted out eventually but it would be so much easier if I was advising a stranger.
The other little family problem was sorted out last night. I met my daughter and her boyfriend and he, very politely, asked if I'd have any objections to him marrying my daughter. Obviously I said I had no objections although I did suggest he may need therapy. My daughter eventually came clean and admitted they've already not only set a date but that they've booked the church and it's all going to happen in May 2008. I suggested that they could elope if they wished and I wouldn't be offended but she insists that she wants me to give her away and I've got to wear a kilt and everything that goes with it.
She's certainly more organised than her Father. My first wife told me she was pregnant on the Wednesday, we told her (very unhappy) parents on the Thursday, got a special licence on the Friday and we were married on the Monday. I can't even remember asking the second wife but as I woke up one morning and found I'd remarried I must have somewhere along the way. And people say romance is dead! Maybe it's a selective memory but it's sad when your divorces were more memorable than the marriages.
Never mind I've matured since then and I've realised that not only is commitment a longer word than commited but sometimes the sentence is longer too.
Well that's the family problems dealt with now all I have is a neighbour problem and again I'll have to approach it with some delicacy. As I mentioned I went mad with a saw in my back garden hacking every bush in sight and even reduced my shed to ground level just for the fun of it. That was it I thought but, when I came home tonight to my surprise the bushes in the front garden had been hacked down too and the only tree had been severely cut back. Somewhat surprised I assumed my son had done it but it turned out to be a relative of my neighbour. I wouldn't have minded so much if he'd removed what he cut down but my front garden is now full of branches and it's only a week since I tidied that up.
While I'm tempted just to throw everything over his fence being a nice, calm, considerate neighbour I'd prefer to put this down to a misunderstanding. The family next door are from Asia (I'm not sure which country) and possibly, while nice people, don't understand the law in this country. This dictates that if a branch is overhanging your property you may cut it off but you certainly can't enter a neighbours property and cut the bloody tree down. My only other option would be to reduce his garden shed to ground level but that's a bit extreme even for me.
To an extent it only shows what a good life I have when something so minor disrupts it or maybe he's been doing things like this for years but I've never noticed because he waited for me to go to the pub.
Before I go can I just stress to all of you I do drop in daily and I do read your entries. I feel guilty that I don't always comment but normally when I get there everything that should be said seems to have been said and, believe it or not, that leaves me at a loss for words.
I can assure all of you that while many people collect friends I only collect special people.
Well I suppose I'd better go and have another beer, make dinner, and have another couple of beers and then an early night. After all if the pub is open again tomorrow it could be a long day.
I thought, as an afterthought, I'd change my blast back to the song I can't get out of my head.
Best regards
Bob.
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